Evenstar
by Beeria
Summary: And Cloud finally realised...she was setting him free.


This was inspired by an absolutely gorgeous Cloud/Aerith video on youtube. I really recommend you watch it, the link is on my profile. This story does mention a couple of events from Case of Tifa and AC in it but it has added stuff and it takes a different ending. Based on FeraNeilia's video "Evenstar".

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters nor the video that inspired this idea. They belong to SquareEnix and FeraNeilia respectively. However, this actual story is mine.

**Evenstar**

The door creaked open, followed by the dull thud of his boots against the old wooden floor. The sound echoed around him - strong, but hollow. Just like the man who created it. He sighed bitterly and stopped at the flowerbed wistfully before looking up towards the two holes in the roof through which, the winter's sun streamed down upon him.

"_Shall I join you?" Tifa asked as she arrived home to find him drinking by the bar. Cloud never drank alcohol. She watched him down the drink in one gulp before setting the glass down with a heavy thud._

"_I want to drink alone," he whispered._

"_Then go and drink in your room!" she snapped._

And now here he was, at his place. No, it was not his place. It was _her_ place. He had just taken it over from her, compelled to by his strong sense of guilt.

_**Love**_

He shook his head. It was guilt, he told himself. Because it was so much easier to say that it was guilt that made him so broken. He turned towards his materia box, walking over to check everything was still in place. It was untouched.

He sighed and dragged his blanket across the floor, kneeling to light the gas lighter beside it in order to get some heat to warm his skin. But it never quite reached his heart…

He thought back to the night when he had been drinking at Seventh Heaven, remembering all too clear the reason that had started it all.

_The postman handed the letters and parcels over to Cloud, thrusting the papers towards the blonde to sign. Cloud scribbled his signature and took his mail upstairs to sort it for the deliveries. He scanned the address and costs of each one and placed them in piles in order of delivery date._

_Then he froze as he came across a small letter, no bigger than a post-it. It was from Elmyra Gainsborough._

_**Delivery - Flowers **_

_**Destination - the Forgotten Capital**_

_And the emotions suddenly cascaded through his body like a river breaking a dam. He screamed in frustration…anguish…guilt...pain. Cloud couldn't pin it on just one emotion._

_For months he had not thought about __that__, always forcing his mind on other things whenever a pair of warm green eyes found their way into his head. And now, thanks to six little words, the shock of seeing Sephiroth come down behind her, the pain of watching his sword pierce through her flesh, her precious materia falling out of her hair and hitting the floor with a large clank that broke the deathly silence._

_He remembered her falling into his arms, her last breath brushing against his cheek as he turned her around so his back was facing Sephiroth. Her blood spilled over his hands, his body shaking, eyes burning, his lips going dry as he buried his head against her chest._

_He should have heard her heartbeat matching his own._

"_**This can't be real!"**_

_But it had been real. Aerith __**was**__ gone and each second that he stared at the letter the more it hit him. He couldn't hide anymore. He needed to be forgiven for letting her die. He would take the flowers to the Forgotten city and he would sit for a while._

Cloud opened his eyes from the memory finding himself once again in the Church. He shook his head as he roughly dusted off his blankets, his vision blurred slightly. It was the dust, of course. He glanced towards the flowers again and stopped.

There, clear as day with the sunlight behind her casting her into an angelic glow, was Aerith. Cloud sucked in a breath. Was he dreaming? He had no idea but swallowed thickly as he watched her, too scared to speak up or move in case it was a dream and he was awakened.

She stopped suddenly, turning her head slowly. Her eyes fell upon him and Cloud felt his heart hammer in his chest as she stared at him. She smiled and turned her body around to face him. Cloud sprang up, convinced that this wasn't a dream. She would have disappeared as soon as she had seen him!

He ran towards her as she slowly stood. His boots ruined the flowers as he trampled them in his haste to meet her but as her body rose and hit the sunlight she disappeared. Cloud stopped, his breath shaky as he turned in every direction. He felt a slight prickly feeling in each eye and his breath became shallow as he collapsed to his knees in hopelessness.

"Aerith," he whispered brokenly.

* * *

Many weeks had passed since that day and he had never seen a vision of Aerith again. Now Cloud was waking to the strange feeling of a bed beneath him. He opened his eyes slowly, wincing as his Geostigma caused a slight twinge in his arm. But it passed as quickly as it had came.

He turned his head to see Tifa in the bed next to his – still unconscious as he had found her. The events from earlier suddenly came crashing back to him and he sat up, walking to her bed and looking her over. She seemed okay, he concluded.

"You're pretty heavy," came the undeniable cocky voice of Reno from behind him. Cloud turned towards him.

"Weren't there some kids living with you?" Rude asked.

"Because they ain't here," Reno added. Cloud said nothing.

"You don't care?" Rude said in shock. Cloud sighed and looked towards Tifa.

"I just…" he began. _I just cant save anyone._ He finished in his mind.

Reno sighed. "You're a real handful," he muttered before he left with Rude.

Cloud turned to the window, staring up at the statue of an angel with a sorrowful expression.

It was long after dark before he heard Tifa stir behind him. He turned away from the window and walked across the room, avoiding her gaze but feeling her eyes on him.

"Reno and Rude are out looking," he informed her. She continued to stare for a moment before looking to the floor.

"You have…Geostigma….don't you." It wasn't a question. She knew he had it. He sighed gently. "You're going to give up and die," she said angrily.

"There is no cure," he replied. _Please let me die. Let me be with her._

"Yeah but that's not stopping Denzel is it?" she answered. "Don't run! We'll fight it together! We can help each other! I know we can!" Cloud didn't answer and Tifa looked away sadly.

"I guess…that only works for real families."

"Tifa, I'm not fit to help anyone," Cloud responded. "Not my family, not my friends." _Not even the one I loved. _"Nobody."

"Dilly Dally, Shilly Shally," Tifa muttered. "Dilly Dally Shilly Shally!" she repeated louder.

"I think she wants you to move on man!" Reno commented suddenly, causing Cloud and Tifa to turn towards them.

"Did you find them?" Tifa asked.

"No but there was a witness who said Kadaj's gang took the kids."

"Where are they?"

"They're at their base now, in the Forgotten City."

A strong, cold silence fell around the room. Cloud swallowed. He couldn't go…he wouldn't go.

"Go," he commanded them. "I need to talk to Rufus."

"Stop running!" Tifa cried in frustration before letting out a long sigh. "I know," she added gently. She stopped, searching for the right words. "Even if you find the kids you might not be able to do anything. Something may happen that can never un-happen – that scares you, doesn't it?"

_Her long, golden hair was coming undone. The materia was hitting against crystal floor, each dull, metallic bang forever ringing in his memory.._

"_**Aerith will never laugh…cry…or get angry again!"**_

"You go," Reno snapped before turning away, Rude in tow. Tifa shifted slightly as Cloud walked past her.

"Which is it?" she asked brokenly. "A memory or us?"

Cloud didn't answer. _If I die, it won't __**be**__ a memory!_

Tifa watched him turn and leave without another word, his silence answer enough.

* * *

As the Sleeping Forest came into view, Cloud's memories of Aerith's death became frequent flashes, her innocent gaze constantly tormenting him as he speeded towards the Forgotten Capital. He didn't want to be here. He did not want…

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt as he was blinded by a bright light and was suddenly thrust into an unknown place, surrounded by white. A soft breeze greeted him and he became aware of flowers gently caressing his legs. But what caught Cloud's interest was the fact that he could feel a presence behind him.

He knew it was a dream this time. He just wasn't sure if that was better or worse.

"You came," she declared happily, her voice full of pride, "even though you're about to break!" She brought her left hand across her body to rest on his infected arm. Cloud jerked slightly and turned his head away.

"I'm sure this is a good sign," she continued. Cloud remained silent, trying not to think about the fact that Aerith's hand on his arm felt _real. _Because if he let himself think about it, he knew he would start to believe it was real.

And his broken heart and soul couldn't take it.

"So," Aerith said. "Why did you come?"

The question brought Cloud to his senses and he swallowed thickly. "I…I think I want to be forgiven…mo…more than…anything," he replied. _Because I cant love you until I'm forgiven._

"By who?" she questioned, a slight tease to her voice. Cloud blinked, frowned slightly, and turned to look at her.

The movement caused her and their world to disappear. He stared over his shoulder at the endless miles of forestry behind him, as if hoping Aerith would be sitting behind him.

But, of course, she wasn't.

"I let you die," he whispered. Her reply came swift, carried by the air around him.

"Isn't it time you did the forgiving?"

* * *

He felt light. He felt…free. He felt as if his body was floating around endlessly but when he tried to open his eyes, he couldn't. Was he dead? Cloud couldn't tell but somewhere, selfishly, he hoped he was.

A hand pressed against his forehead and a soft sigh escaped his lips as the soft fingers trailed through his hair and a tender kiss placed upon his temple.

"Mother?" he asked faintly.

"Another one," came the cheeky feminine reply. "Why is everyone calling me their mother lately?"

"I guess it's because they are fond of you," her male companion replied, a smirk in his voice.

"I'm fond of this one too," she sighed sadly. "But this one's too big to adopt."

"Tough luck friend," her companion said. "Looks like, you don't have a place here."

The next thing Cloud knew, he was waking up and lying in a pool of water. He blinked and stood up, looking at the children that surrounded him. A little girl smiled.

"Just like she said, wait here and Cloud will come back!"

Why? Cloud thought. Why hadn't she let him die?

"Welcome back," came a voice he recognised and he turned to see Tifa and the rest of Avalanche smiling at him. Cloud nodded, his eyes scanning them all, going past the doorway and onto the crowd on the other side. But he stopped and did a double take at the doorway.

There she was, kneeling in front of two children and talking to them. She gave them a pat each on the head and stood, making her way to the doorway. As she reached the threshold she stopped suddenly and Cloud watched with hope that this time she wouldn't fade away.

She turned to him, a small smile on her lips as their eyes met across the distance. Cloud waded through the water and lifted his hand, reaching out to her. He wasn't sure whether it was a gesture for her to come back to him or for her to take him back into the lifestream to die. Either way he would be with her. But his hope faded as her she whispered,

"Goodbye, Cloud." Before turning and disappearing into the white light ahead.

Cloud's hand dropped into the water as he tried to understand what had happened. Why hadn't she come back? Why hadn't she let him die? Why hadn't she blamed him for letting her die?

And then, he replayed that final encounter back in his mind. When she had said her goodbye, her smile had never faltered, but her eyes were serious. Her line "isn't it time _you _did the forgiving."

And Cloud finally realised why she hadn't let him die and why she wouldn't come back. She had taken the situation into her own hands.

She was setting him free.

* * *


End file.
